I enjoy my job 70% of the time. But when it's time for me to "Welcome" or "Greet" I want to shoot myself in the head.
You see when I decided to go work for Apple as a Concierge, I knew my job wouldn't be stimulating but I knew it would be better than interning somewhere and wearing suits and panty hose. I have a degree in Government and I'm headed to law school in less than two months, where exactly would be flexible and fun to work in the summer? Apple.
Why? As a 20 year old college graduate embarking on your last summer as a young adult in Austin, Texas - would you rather work as an intern where (excuse my French) you work as some 50-something's coffee-bringing-bitch all day OR would you rather work with a group of hipster kids all around your same age who party a lot and live life like there's no tomorrow? Hum...that's a tough one.
Yeah, I chose Apple. I work as a Concierge, which is about the lowest of the low at Apple but I don't really care. I am not planning on making retail a career path and honestly, I'm not that full of myself.
What exactly does my job entail? Well, there are three major functions to a Concierge's position at Apple:
1. Greeting/Welcoming - basically everyone that walks through the door I greet with a "Warm Welcome" and then as they are leaving I provide them with a "Fond Farewell". Sounds pretty simple, right? Eh, but the key is really being a human filter. I sift people through my filter and get them where they need to go or hook them up with the person they need to talk to. And there is always that person who just insists that because you were the first person who spoke to them...you must know everything. Ha! Yeah, right.
2. Floater/Etc. - this role includes checking people out and ushering them around while they are in the "Family Room" or "ETC" area. This is probably the easiest position because honestly, this position requires basic knowledge of how to ring out customers, how to find computers that have been repaired and have people sign paperwork, or help people drop off their broken junk for the geniuses to look at in a quick drop. Pretty simple stuff.
3. Operator - this role includes answering the phones and answering the millions of questions that often get thrown at the basic employee. I get asked questions about stock of items, how to install ram, how to fix broken products, where the store is located in Austin, promotions questions and discount questions all day long in this role. When it's slow, this position is ideal because a Concierge can relax and do some training on Apple's employee training website. But it's rarely that slow...
So you're probably thinking, why is the first position so bad? What makes Greeting so awful? Why would you want to shoot yourself in the head? The simple answer: Greeting is the most mind-numbing position in the whole store. All day I repeat the same three phrases: "What brings you in today?" "Can I point you in a direction?" "Welcome to the Apple Store, can I help you find something?" Now imagine 20% of customers who walk through the doors upset demanding immediate assistance. These customers are always upset and usually yell at you when there are no appointments or when you can't fix their iPhone or iPod or Computer right there on the spot. Sometimes they cry, demand to speak to a manager, act like they own Apple, or in general just make you feel like the smallest person on the face of the planet. I really dislike people like this because they make my job miserable. Sometimes when I am speaking to people with this manner, I want to turn around and say to them as they are screaming at me: "I'M A PERSON TOO! TREAT ME LIKE ONE AND MAYBE I'LL TRY TO HELP YOU. OTHERWISE GET OUT OF MY FACE BECAUSE NOBODY CARES!!! EVERYONE HERE IS EQUAL, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT OR WAIT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!" But I don't. I simply tell them to stay where they are standing and then go talk to whomever I need to make sure that that person is helped quickly.
Needless to say, today I thought I was done with my greeter shift, but I came to find out at the end of my day that I had one hour of greeting left to go and I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw my body on the ground and cry. I wanted to walk out of the Apple Store right then and there. Why? Because I despise greeting, but unfortunately I am very good at it. I've come to find that at Apple if you are good at something they make you do it, even if you hate it. And trust me, I hate it. I wanted to go up to my manager and say, "Because you're making me do this, I QUIT!"
But I didn't...I simply complained outloud to my mentor and then greeted...
Yet I cursed myself for holding a degree in Government and graduating Phi Beta Kappa and here I was standing at the door saying the same three phrases over and over listening to some angry customer scream at me about their broken whatever. Thank goodness this is not my career path...Hallelujah Law School!
